Glee-cap: Wherein Mr. Shue's in the right and yet still an unsympathetic character
FEUDS! The Glee promo released earlier in the week with Matthew Morrison and Cory Monteith doing a boy band mashup secured this episode a win before I even saw it. How can you go wrong with 'N Sync and the Backstreet Boys? Short answer: You can't. Anyway, at the end of the day not all the beef was squashed or hugged out, which is kind of true to life so....well done there, Glee. But don't think you're getting off that easy! To the roses and thorns:
Two roses: One for the swift termination of the "Berry bun-in-the-oven" plot and one for Santana dubbing Brody, "Donkey Face." A good burn is a good burn.
Question from audience: "Why did they go to drug dealer? He's clearly a hooker!" - overheard in my living room. The peanut gallery is back and loud this week.
Roses: Brody looks hot in a black suit.
Thorns: For the weird hooker montage.
Rosy fun fact: Blaine's middle name is Devon!
So many roses: Sue asks Tina the question we've all wondered this season, "Why are you even here?" And then she proceeds to suggest Tina chase Lance Bass for her next romantic entanglement. Delicious.
Thorny thorn thorns: WHO IS KATIE_XOXO!? Where did she come from? Why is she IM'ing with Blake/Ryder? Nooooo. And what happened to Blake/Ryder and Marley!? Also this IM'ing is kind of annoying. But Ryder's dyslexic spelling mistakes are fairly adorable.
THANK YOU: Finn ISN'T qualified to be a teacher or run a high school glee club. FINALLY someone on this show admits it was a pity hire.
All signs point to: Mr. Shue being suuuuper out of touch. “Code of a brother"? Dude, it's called a "bro code." Get with the times.
Roses: Of all the feuds, I'm really digging Sue versus Blaine. Who cares if it appears to be totally superficial and the weirdest thing the writers have wedged into this episode!
More questions from the peanut gallery: "Why is the feud between Ryder and Wade? Shouldn't it be between Ryder and Jake?"
Thorns: Wait, when did Team Jake recover so quickly!?! Okay, fine. Marley and Jake are adorable and tossing around the L word like only carefree teenagers could. ROSE THEM.
Roses: Blake/Ryder REALLY is Finn 2.0. He's now playing the drums on his Elton John's "Bitch is Back." Sorry, Cory Monteith...if Fox renews Glee for a fifth season, they can 100 per cent get by without you.
Tiaras for ALL! Damn it. That's so much better than roses. Curses, Unique!
Thorny rose: Becky as Nicki Minaj is weird. But the Nicki Minaj face practice with Sue is delightfully hilarious. (Plus she's yelling at Tina, and you all know I'm fine with harassing Tina when she's being annoying.)
Roses: "Don't apply logic to Lopez." - that HAS to apply to all Lopezes, right? Santana, Jennifer, Mario, George. Additionally, Santana's more Paula Abdul than Paula these days. Digging it, even though Brody raises a valid question: how DID she get into NYADA?! And while we're asking questions, where'd the wind machine come from? And did she PLAN this outfit to coincide with the Abdul routine?
YES. ROSES. SO MANY ROSES: I get behind ALL 90s boy band mash-ups. Is it laughable that Shue is JT? Yes. Am I going to come out on Finn's side because I'm hugely biased in favour of BSB in general? Definitely. "I Want It That Way" - please, no contest. Greatest key change in the history of music (even though Shue got it and that makes my nose wrinkle a little).
Roses: In keeping with Shue's character. His “best friend” (yes, the 19-year-old Finn) did kiss his fiancé, so he really does have a legitimate reason to hold a grudge longer than a boy band mash-up. One song and you hug it out? Definitely not. And yet, it makes him annoying and whiney.
Oh no...: Kurt and Rachel's Santana intervention sucks. You can't get rid of her! She has the best dialogue. AND, she does really have love. LOVE FOR YOU TWO.
Thorns: Ugh. Lena Dunham. It's bad enough I have to read about her all over the place. Don't drag her into the Glee universe, Ryan Murphy!
Peanut gallery comments: There's a theory that this Blake/Ryder online relationship with katie_xoxo is a "catfishing situation." (Catfish, as in the movie – yeah, I didn't see it...)
PSA to the TEENS: Don't send pictures to people on the internet. Seriously.
Truth time: Blaine's Mariah is dullsville. Sue's Nicki is terrifying wardrobe-wise. But "Superbass" totally trumps the snoozefest of the Carey's "I Still Believe."
Story I've been told ALL MY LIFE: Thanks Sue. Life isn't fair. My parents will be so pleased that this turn of phrase is being spread as gospel.
Thorns: While the peanut gallery next to me has just become pro Marley-and-Finn romance, I'm solidly against. She's got ENOUGH MEN. (Unrelated sidebar: The peanut gallery would prefer to be an almond or a salted cashew gallery. Just keeping you all in the loop.)
Roses: Blunt Marley is the bomb. Is she channelling Santana? I can't think of anyone else who'd tell Finn to grow a pair.
Awwwww: Look, the new crew is BONDING. And ready to come together and protect Unique. Well played, Glee writers. You're correct in thinking I'm ready to invest full time in the new kids. Be gone, graduating seniors! Aside from Artie and Blaine, I'm totes fine without y'all.
Good life advice: "Wear a thong to avoid visible panty lines." Thanks, Sue.
Roses: INTRIGUING PLOT TWIST. Trouty Mouth and Blaine have a PLAN. And it involves bringing Sue down from the inside! I'm IN.
Double roses: ANOTHER INTRIGUING PLOT TWIST. BRODY! FINN! GIRL TALK! OOOOOOH. Interesting interpretation of "grow a pair," Finn. FIGHT! Finn is so much taller than Brody. And all of a sudden -- with one scuffle and a "stay away from my future wife!" - we're all Team Finn again.
sing roses: Tegan and Sara represent! Way to
get “Closer” um, closer to the top of the charts.
Group sing thorns: What is with all these awful clothes!?!?! EW. Marley and Tina?? Go back to Mr. Dressup's tickle trunk and find something a little less heinous.
Thorns: I go back to my original question: WHO IS KATIE_XOXO!?! My bet's Jake. Peanut says 33 per cent Jake, 33 per cent Wade, 33 per cent Marley. Hit the comments with your theories stat!