Glee-cap: Diva showdowns and more awkward moments than necessary
This week's "Diva" episode saw the rise - and fall - of divas, which leads me to ask: did we really need to crown a queen of the divas? I think not. What I do know is this week it was Kurt and Rachel I wanted to heap roses on top of, while turning my back on McKinley and all the truly uncomfortable moments those people gave us. Thorns, thorns, thorns: am I right? Alright, on to an almost impressive prediction of an unexpected (but kind of expected) romance and the rest of the roses:
Roses: "But you're Barbra's heir apparent." It's nice to see that the writers are taking what Lea Michelle wants to hear most and shoving it riiiiight into the scripts. Ever since Glee began, Michelle's been hoping, wishing and praying that Broadway revives Funny Girl and hands her the role of Fanny Brice.
Thorns: Emma making wedding plans. Ugh. That's still going to be a thing this season, isn't it?
But ONE rosebud: For the Finn-Pillsbury pairing this week. I'm surprised she hasn't accidently fallen for Finn in his Shuester-esque cardigans (which do look tremendously good on him).
Roses: Yes fellows, Blaine is correct. Guys CAN be divas. (Also, Tina, you will never be as diva-tastic as Unique. Don't even start this fight. You'll lose.)
Thorns: For all the diva antics backstage as well as the diva fashion show. Additionally, the song is spot on for the theme but it's terrible.
Roses: For truth time between Kurt and Rachel. She was tolerable and now she's not. YES, way to bring Glee history from two years ago. "Defying Gravity" was a great time for those young New Directioners and it was finally time for Kurt to admit he threw that competition.
Thorns: TINA. Doting on a gay man is not going to make him love you. (Warning: I feel that there will be more Tina complaints as this episode moves one. I apologize. Maybe.)
Rockin' roses: Blaine's "Don't Stop Me Now" is actually a great song for New Directions to cover. Plus, he's really working those leather pants. Not even I have the gall to criticize Darren Criss in tight pants.
Roses: Thank you Finn and Emma for importing Santana (and her random new cheerleader crew) to but on a true show of "diva-ism." And thank you, Unique for singing along.
Thorns: For the whole chain of Tina rudely and abruptly telling Santana about Brittany and Sam dating and then Santana flaunting her new girlfriend in sad lil Brit's face.
Roses and one free impression of his choice: To Trouty Mouth for his reaction. He looked awkward and uncomfortable. Spot on when you consider he's probably just as terrified of Santana as Rachel used to be.
Midnight Madness = "NYDA's Fight Club. But with singing instead of punching." YES.
SO MANY ROSES: For the "Taylor the Latte Boy" reference. (If you don't know the Kristin Chenoweth song, a) click here and b) give me back your musical theatre nerd membership card. You're no longer part of this club.)
Roses: For the fact that Rachel's instinct is still to defend Kurt when bitchy gays go on the offense. And more roses for her FB relationship status being "Shacked Up" while Finn's is "Heartbroken."
Thorns: OH CRAP FINN IS TOTALLY GOING TO FALL FOR MISS. PILLSBURY.
Roses: "Lipsy McChapstick" isn't as memorable as Trouty Mouth, but Santana also gave Sam that nickname. So she deserves props for all attempts.
Thorny thorn thorns: I miss the Glee that had me rushing to iTunes to download their covers. It's been MONTHS since I had one of their songs stuck in my head the next day. Pick up your song selection, guys! Nashville (and even Smash) are claiming all my money.
Thorns: Tina Cohen-Chang deserves "better"? No. No no no. It's not about "better." And it's not about being afraid to "go after what you want;" it's about going after something unattainable. Your delusions of dating a “perfect gold star gay” are a bad idea (though from what I hear you’re not the first woman to try). Put the sick boy in bed and then leave him ALONE. Poor Blaine is snuffly and sleepy!
Thorns and minor drowning in a pool of awkwardness: Tina’s tending to Blaine after her declaration of love and suggestion of “just a sexless relationship.” I know we’re supposed to sympathize and be sad with her as she tearfully and silently rubs his chest with Vaporub (while straddling him); but instead I feel like I’m a witness to an unwanted molestation that I should report to someone.
Roses: Midnight madness looks like it ripped off The Skulls with its robes. Sigh…Glee’s younger audience probably does not remember that joyous Paul Walker, Joshua Jackson heartthrob-a-thon.
Can’t we call it a tie? Lea Michele and Chris Colfer going head-to-head with “Bring Him Home” from Les Miserables is the kind of singing this show needs more of. How did these people even choose?!
Roses: To Sue Sylvester for pointing out the obvious flaw in all these recent graduates always being back at McKinley.
Thorns: To the writers using the phrase “heir apparent” twice in one episode. (That said, if we have to bring another graduate back to high school under BS pretenses, I’m pumped it’s going to be Santana.)
Thorns and roses: Tina’s rage-y outburst directed towards Blaine is annoying and ridiculous…and totally what a teenage girl (or one slightly older) would do. Roses for realism; thorns because, while Tina’s diva number is impressive, I’m not sold on the attitude change and/or Jenna Ushkowitz’s acting skills.
Sighs of exasperation and roses: Kurt, you’re A+ with all the truth bombs this week. And Rachel did need to be taken down a peg. Unfortunately Rachel Berry is not one with a middle range of emotions, so one peg means she goes from ego-tastical diva to depths of despair “I’m dirt under everyone’s shoes.” Can’t we find something in a basic shade of humble?
She never wins anything: Do you know what would make Tina Cohen-Chang more tolerable? Crowning her head diva. Oh, no. That’s incorrect. That would make her THE WORST.
MVP: Kurt, never change or go away. If only because you are the only person to keep Berry in check.
Remember that giant pool of awkwardness we were drowning in? FINN KISSED EMMA. That’s not going to be a thing. Nope. Not at all. La la la la la. Avoidance of the awkwardness is key here this week.
Roses: For Brittany. She really is a genius - at least when it comes to telling people to go out into the world and live up to their potential. Santana, clearly seeing her wisdom, KILLS “Girl on Fire” and then runs off to be another great check-and-balance to Rachel Berry in NYC. The real question is now: how many people can live comfortably in Rachel and Kurt’s random loft?