Glee-cap: Sadie Hawkins does not equal female empowerment
After a month-long hiatus, Glee has returned. And with it, it's brought anti-feminist sentiment, an increasingly unlikeable Tina Cohen-Chang and a ridiculous doping sub-plot. Writers, you had a month to come up with some ideas and this is all you bring us. Thorns, thorns and more thorns to you. Luckily, I also have a few roses to hand out too:
Thorns: For suggesting that the only time a girl can ask a guy out is for a Sadie Hawkins dance. That should not be the only time girls can be "empowered" (Glee's word) to approach a guy. I don't want to get up on a soapbox here and rant about how women today don't have to wait for a man to ask them out; they can take initiative and not have it held against them. And...wow, look at that, how'd I get on this soapbox? Damn it. Well, you get the point. WOMEN, NEVER WAIT FOR A SADIE HAWKINS DANCE.
Roses: Brody would totally get an audition (and a call back) for Magic Mike the musical.
Thorns: FINN, YOU ARE NOT A TEACHER!!! Seriously, how is he still allowed to chill around the school with the teachers?
Roses: "ref-FU-GEES." Too bad Glee's young target audience doesn't remember the Fugees. Or that Lauryn Hill and Wyclef Jean were two thirds of that group. Thanks for the reminder though, Finn.
Cheap laugh but totally worth it: "I want to sit under Uranus."
Thorns: Apparently Blaine's traded in his bow ties for a pork pie hat. Not a fair trade.
Roses and +100 reality points: For Rachel being a snob about NYADA's show choir. Of course she's now a "popular" girl. Way to bite the hand that fed you in high school. (Thorny sidebar: There are no walls in that apartment; how does Kurt not know that Brody's there!?)
Thorns: UGH! TINA YOU ARE THE WORST. Seriously, when did the writers decide to make her the most unlikeable person on this show. Also, BLAINE IS NEVER GOING TO LOVE YOU. This is so many shades of AWKWARD. (Did you see Wade/Unique's WTF side eyes? That was for all of us watching.)
Gratuitous roses: For a slo-mo close-up on Blaine's booty. Hey, I'm only human and Darren Criss is a good-looking fellow!
Thorns: I'm going to try and only complain about this once: Adam - founder of the Adam's Apples - is like 45 years old. Putting a toque on him is not fooling anyone. Is it that actors no longer want to be cast on Glee? Is that why it was difficult to find an unknown hot guy with an accent? Because, this dude is not going to do it for anyone, gay or straight.
Awkward thorns: Am I being punked? Is this whole episode designed to make me feel uncomfortable? There are misfit glee clubs and then there's this terrifying zombie-hipster group singing Jonathan Coulton's version of Sir Mix-a-lot's "I Like Big Butts," (which apparently Glee has yet to credit Coulton for.) I just. I can't. Make it go away.
Roses: For Brittany's magical turn segueing into "Tell Him." There are very few things that this show does better than a vintage girl group number. Love The Exciters. Love the dresses. Love Marley's instant attitude change as soon as the music started. Love Heather Morris in general. Let her sing and dance more, Glee powers-that-be.
Of note: Clearly wardrobe also hates Tina Cohen-Chang because they didn't even bother to make sure her blue dress fit her properly in the chest area.
Thorns: To all the unrequited love in this episode. Also, I'm sad the writers decided to have Blaine crush on Trouty Mouth. I was so happy when that friendship developed because it was so fantastic to have it be platonic on both sides instead of a stereotypical gay guy lusting/liking an unattainable straight guy. NOW THAT IS RUINED.
More Thorns: So Tina solves nothing and gets her date with Blaine to the dance? WHAT IS THAT!? TINA, YOU ARE THE WORST. (I really thought I'd write that less often, but nope.)
Roses: To the Puckerman bros. Also, Puck Sr.'s Cheerio/Kitty wisdom is fantastic.
Thorns: Excuse me, we're supposed to believe that THIS GUY is 22!? No. Sorry Adam, but you're a 40-something in 20-something clothes.
Roses: For the actual appearance of Brody. Even if he's just bundled up standing across the street.
Roses and thorns: The pairing of vintage Puckerman and Kitty spells trouble but I'm totally digging it. He might be the only one to be able to take her, mostly because he tamed original Quinn.
Roses: To the return of a bow tie around Blaine's neck.
So many roses: Ignoring the beginning of Artie's intro about how this school dance was empowering for women (*shaking my fist at the world*). everything about the guys doing "No Scrubs" was perfection. The dance moves? Unreal. It's important to note that, now that Finn's gone, these all-boy numbers are considerably more enjoyable to watch.
Thorns: Not to complain, but why is Marley being so darn WEIRD!? Her personality has gone wonky.
Whoop!: This should have been mentioned earlier but give a cheer for the return of Lauren Zizes. Although thorns because the Zizes of past Glee seasons was too confident to be in the Too Young To Be Bitter club or call herself a loser. Ever.
TROUTY MOUTH SAVES THE DAY! Did you ever think you'd hear those words? Me neither, but there you have it. I'm not talking about his Warbler conspiracy theory either. He saved Tina from becoming even more awful than she was. I guess not only wardrobe but also the writers now don't know what to do with Jenna Ushkowitz?
Thorns: Hey look, it appears that the New Directions girls have determined "empowered" to mean "sing a Bruno Mars song while grinding up on a pole-like object." I am woman, watch me sexy dance? I think that's being objectified not empowered.
Roses: Yep, vintage Puck and Kitty are kind of really adorable.
Thorns: To this insane Warbler doping plot line. I get that the New Directions have to get back into the game, but this is truly bizarre.
Roses and more reality points: For Rachel's "you're 45 minutes late" freak out and Brody's subsequent adorable-ness. This relationship's really progressed off camera.
Eye roll: OF COURSE Rachel Berry would suggest moving in. This is the girl that was going to get married to the first guy who looked her way in high school.
Whatever is worse than an eye roll: Looks like we're in store for a lot more "TINA IS THE WORST" moments.